[fat] confessions on my own scars, stretch marks, and hairiness

giangie.tumblr.com

My first surgery scars came in high school from putting my shoulder back together after a weird overuse accident. (labral tear-- the tissue that holds the ball and socket in place was torn from the bone) After being misdiagnosed for eight months the three one-inch-long scars felt like battle scars. A year later I had a breast reduction, three pounds and some drainage tubes later I’ve got almost two feet of faint pink scars. I have yet to meet a man who noticed my scars until about a month of pillow talk later… it’s been quite the confidence booster. My other surgery scars are from having my appendix plucked out a few years after that. The scars are consistent with an ovary removal, but luckily it was my appendix that was infected and dying instead. The surgical scars could almost count as battle scars -- except my belly and boobs have faced no trauma.


All along my arms and legs are bug bites. Ants and mosquitoes for the most part, but the occasional family of chiggers or no-see-ums will try to take up residence under a flip flop strap. Many bites have scabbed over, and some have finally left smooth purple discolorations. I haven’t shaved my legs in over four years -- thighs in over six. Luckily the hair is rather blonde and thin, so I don’t need to worry about shaving over bug bites and opening up scabs. I’ve also got my fair share of old scraped knees and shins from work as well as my years of tree climbing and mud pie pancake making in the back yard. Additionally, no guy has noticed my leg hair until I've actually pointed it out to him. Women on occasion have noticed the leg hair.


[cranky] CFF manifesto (in progress)

CFF began as a way for me to post images and articles that spoke to me, without the anger of friend’s parents, or friends, or my parents and relatives, or any other jackasses. It was a way to share the new blog I had started, to contemplate my understanding of the feminist classes I was taking in college. I also needed to reflect on my recent return from Africa, and how feminism related to my trip.

CFF became a place for me to understand that there is more than fat shaming -- there is skinny shaming too, and that I’ve participated in it. Today, I do post mostly about fat shaming, but I make a point of never skinny shaming.


I’ve also reflected a lot on how I’ve felt fat since probably the age of 9 or 10. I hit puberty early (period came at age 10) so I was extra tall and hairy early. I’ve always had wide shoulders, and by 6th grade I was a 36C. I was always bigger than every other girl, and most of the guys. I told myself constantly that I was fat. Middle school (the years of self hate, mean girls, exploring make up, leg shaving, girl on girl hate…) only made my fat feel fatter.

 

[feminist] review: #Orgasm, Inc

No one truly knows where Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD) comes from, as a medical term and disease. The pharmaceutical industry (the third largest industry in the United States) is promoting FSD as a disease with a potential monetary and medical fix. Drug companies are in a race to be the first company to be FDA approved for their magic libido-boosting drug. Everything in our capitalist world can be commodified, even your orgasms. Because “orgasms should happen and feel this one particular way… therefore your way is wrong.” So we’re going to help you have the perfect orgasm, if you can fork over the money.

Why are we so gullible? The vast majority of Americans did not receive proper sex ed in school. The joke “if you have sex, you will get pregnant, and you will die” is unfortunately not really a joke. Many of us learned that “lesson” in school instead of facts. If we can’t learn about our reproductive anatomy, and the purpose of our anatomy, then we are doomed to learn about sex and sexuality from society-- our parents, our friends, the tv, the horrible things anyone can find online…

[fat] Fatropolis

Have you ever sat on your kitchen floor, in tears, with the thought that everything in your cabinets is "fat food"? Have you ever drawn a hot bath only to realize you don't fit in the tub? When was the last time you heard snide comments about how your size makes you automatically unattractive? Do you struggle to find both well-fitting and flattering clothes?

Here is proof you aren't alone.

Tracey does a phenomenal job highlighting the absurdities and hypocrisies within our size-discriminating society by flipping the coin and showing thin people as the black sheep, and "hearty" people as the preferred body type. Fatropolis is flooded with advertisements for weight-gain products, television stars feature hearty actors, and there's no shame in second helps or ordering dessert. No need to hide your sweet treat to eat in private to avoid judgmental eyes.

Big really is beautiful. Escape to Fatropolis and fall in love with your body again.

Order Fatropolis on Amazon Here or by clicking the Amazon link on the side of the blog and searching for "Fatropolis" (if you enter through the Amazon link Cranky gets a commission that goes towards paying student loans!)

[feminist] defining gender binaries as a social construct

As requested, I've pulled out one of my women's studies books to bring you a definition of gender.

First, we have to acknowledge that the term "sex" refers to biology, and your sexual organs. You are born a girl, a boy, or intersex. Therefore, the term "gender" refers to culture and society-- often phrased "social construction of gender." What does it mean to be a man, or to be a woman? What adjectives have you been called recently?

• weak, pretty, timid, demure (dowdy/frumpy, matronly, brazen, coy, slut, whore)
• strong, handsome, burly, macho, stocky, strong (effeminate, queer, weak, timid)

Which line do your adjectives fit into? The top line usually describes women, while the second line usually describes men (and the parenthesis are generally insult-words). See any overlap? Comparing men to women is often an insult "you throw like a girl," while for a woman to be compared to a man is usually a complement "strong like your brother."


Quick homework, go to Toys-R-Us (or some equivalent) online, and search for toys for kids under 5... there is an option to sort for "girl toys" and "boy toys." Here's my test-- "girl toys" got this doll in the top 10 results, "boy toys" got this in the top 10 results. Pink baby doll, sports car, socially constructed gender.

You see your friend's young kid for the first time, what do you say? "Jane, your dress is so pretty!" or "Mark, you're so tall!"-- would you ever tell a boy that he was "pretty"?

Right there, you answered no. There is no escape from social constructions of gender. We are all victims of the society we are born into. But, we must all work to end these stereotypes of gender-- the manly man and the girly girl. Girls can do anything boys can do. Boys can do anything girls can do. We should never limit our children to dolls and pretend kitchens, or trucks and cars. We should never tell a little boy "you can't paint your toenails, that's only for girls" or tell a little girl "you can't play with trucks, that's only for boys." Just like we should never tell girls that they couldn't be things like doctors, astronauts, truck drivers, breadwinners, or the president; and how we should never tell boys that they can't cry, become a dancer, or be stay at home parent. Think before you speak and before you buy.

[feminist] Miss Representation Film

I just got back from watching "Miss Representation" which was absolutely incredible. Sometimes it takes being slapped in the face before we realize what we're absorbing into our minds, both consciously and subconsciously. I've attached the Trailer.

"Miss Representation brings together some of America's most influential women in politics, news and entertainment, including Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow, Margaret Cho, Rosario Dawson and Gloria Steinem to give audiences an inside look at the media's message and depiction of women. The film explores women's under-representation in positions of power by challenging their limited and often disparaging portrayals in the media. Miss Representation takes the stand that the media is portraying women's primary values as their youth, beauty and sexuality - rather than their capacity as leaders."

When was the last time you watched a movie where the star was a woman?
And she wasn't hunting down a man to marry?
Or Laura Croft, taking charge of the world as a badass go-get-um woman wearing not enough clothes?
You're not sure, are you?

[cranky] why is twiggy the ultimate (midwest) american beauty?

My midwest university is obsessed with the double zero, zero, and size 2. It seems as if the only way to be attractive to men and even other women is to be skin-and-bone skinny to the point where we might be afraid you'll pass out at any moment. Entering campus freshman year as a solid size 8 (Marilyn's size, right?) I already felt out of place, and too large to fit in.

Since when did men find it so appealing to fantasize and sleep with twiggy? Why are plump breasts and real hips going out of style faster than disposable water bottles? I feel like if I were a man I would be afraid to sleep with a woman as skinny as Nicole or Kirsten, I might accidentally break them in half. But I guess if you can watch a seemingly anorexic girl in a porno, then why can't you have that in your own life, right?

And I bet that seemingly anorexic girl in the porno doesn't have just a neatly trimmed bikini, she's got it completely shaven bald. So she already looks like she has the body of a pre-pubescent middle schooler, but now she has the vagina to match. Secretly, unbeknownst to men, are they all carrying around pedophile tendencies if they're only attracted to women with bodies of ten year old girls?