[fat] good news!

Shouldn't have been so hard on myself last night-- I weighed myself, finally, and after 7 tries I was confident that I had lost 3.5 pounds. Honestly, that's the most weight I've lost in one week since I had Typhoid Fever last May.

Last week's goal of walking 10,000 steps a day totally failed. I got to like 7,000ish a day... at least its a start, right? I'm really trying to hold onto the 8 glasses of water a day from the first week. Naturally it means chugging water in the evening after drinking coffee all day... but I'm hydrated. Don't burst my bubble.

[fat] and sad

Its the end of my second week on weight watchers, and I'm afraid to weigh myself. I haven't exceeded my points for the week, and I haven't really eaten the last two days. I've bizarrely not been interested in food at all. If only I could keep this up during the week and not just my lazy weekends.

I feel like my weight will have increased, for absolutely no reason. It seems like that's always the way my body works. Tonight I've been dwelling on Ghana, and last May when I was 50 pounds less than I am now. (Granted, I did have typhoid fever at the time, but it was 50 pounds less than today)

Maybe if I get on the scale it will have gone up. Could I blame it on my wet hair? Was I standing on the scale differently? Maybe my weight has gone down. I almost want to laugh at myself, I feel like this diet is just a trick for maintaining my weight because I will never drop any weight. I swear I'd throw myself a party at 20 pounds lost, I'd have my ass below 200.

Video: occupy dc and excessive police force

It seems like the Occupy movement had gone into hibernation for winter, but apparently they're still camped out. Personally, I wouldn't move into a pseudo-tent city to make a political point, but we all get to make our own call on that. Either way, I think this video shows a complete lack of understanding and respect for other human beings in this country. Don't the police have something legitimate to be doing with their time rather than harassing non-violent people? Go break up a drug ring, answer a domestic dispute, hunt for online predators, something?

Stop harassing people and causing them physical pain when they have done nothing to provoke this kind of reaction. My boyfriend works for our state's Department of Corrections-- and as apolitical as he is (which astounds me sometimes), he gets so angry at these scenes because he knows how strong tasers are and how painful pepper spray is. That also means that these cops KNOW what they're doing when they tase someone. Beyond the argument for not arresting and not evicting, how about lets not cause physical pain to other citizens of the United States for standing up for a movement which calls on our government to NOT treat us like useable, meaningless shit. Rallies don't just include young unemployed people-- they include the employed, the middle aged, the elderly, the college students. I want to go to a rally. I don't want to be pepper sprayed or tased, or knocked onto the ground with my hands zip-tied behind me when I did nothing violent, and nothing to provoke the police.

Who is truly at the top of the chain of command in making these decisions? Are we really just to follow along, follow our superiors, when we know they're calling bad shots? These police are just another example of everything that is wrong with this country, and why the occupy movement has taken hold of the country and the world.

[feminist] Miss Representation Film

I just got back from watching "Miss Representation" which was absolutely incredible. Sometimes it takes being slapped in the face before we realize what we're absorbing into our minds, both consciously and subconsciously. I've attached the Trailer.

"Miss Representation brings together some of America's most influential women in politics, news and entertainment, including Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow, Margaret Cho, Rosario Dawson and Gloria Steinem to give audiences an inside look at the media's message and depiction of women. The film explores women's under-representation in positions of power by challenging their limited and often disparaging portrayals in the media. Miss Representation takes the stand that the media is portraying women's primary values as their youth, beauty and sexuality - rather than their capacity as leaders."

When was the last time you watched a movie where the star was a woman?
And she wasn't hunting down a man to marry?
Or Laura Croft, taking charge of the world as a badass go-get-um woman wearing not enough clothes?
You're not sure, are you?

Video: Time in Lahore

Time in Lahore

This 2 minute video is beautiful! The photos are from Lahore, Pakistan, and show the beauty of the people and the city that we don't usually hear or see in the news. Definitely worth watching!

[feminist] 60 seconds of advocacy: congo's coltan is killing civilians for our phones

Amnesty International USA, Take Action! SEC: Companies Must Disclose Conflict Minerals in Their Products
I'm active in the Amnesty International USA group on my university campus, and I'm always looking for ways to be involved on a global level, without forking over money that I don't have. This link will take you to the Amnesty page which has information about emailing the SEC to be accountable for human rights around the world.

Thanks to wikipedia for its infinite wealth of random information (this is my condensed version):

• Columbite-tantalite (or coltan, the colloquial African term) is the metal ore from which the element tantalum is extracted. [which is used in products ranging] from hearing aids and pacemakers, to airbags, GPS, ignition systems and anti-lock braking systems in automobiles, through to laptop computers, mobile phones, video game consoles, video cameras and digital cameras. As a result, it is used in jet engine/turbine blades, drill bits, end mills and other tools.
• Cassiterite is chief ore needed to produce tin, essential for the production of tin cans and solder on the circuit boards of electronic equipment. Tin is also commonly a component of biocides, fungicides and as tetrabutyl tin/tetraoctyl tin, an intermediate in polyvinyl chloride (PVC) and high performance paint manufacturing.
• Wolframite is an important source of the element tungsten. Tungsten is a very dense metal and is frequently used for this property, such as in fishing weights, dart tips and golf club heads. [Also] in metalworking tools, drill bits and milling. Minimal amounts are used in electronic devices, including the vibration function of cell phones and Blackberries.
• Gold 

Don't you want to know if your laptop or phone helped to promote armed conflict against civilians? How about the golf clubs you're going to buy your husband for his birthday, the video game console your kid wants for Christmas, or the new GPS you want. If all companies had to label their products as to where they got their parts, wouldn't you choose the product that didn't fund the mass murder and rape of civilian populations?

[feminist] (Crazy) Santorum explains hard line on abortion

A father can tell his daughters what he believes, and encourage them to make the "right decision" based on family values, and how they were raised. However, a father should never dictate to another man's daughter what she should do with her uterus, and her body. It is a personal, private decision not to be praised or criticized by the government. Separation of church and state? How about separation of my uterus and the state!

YENKO NKOAA, by Eduwoji

 

This is my absolute favorite song from studying abroad in Ghana. I spent the month of April 2011 doing dance research in a small village near where this was filmed, Klikor-Agbozume. (You have to drive through Sogakope where this was filmed to get to Agbozume.) I spent the evenings of my research time drinking Star, a local beer, and dancing in the village "spot" (bar) whenever we had electricity for music. Yenko Nkoaa was on every night that we had electricity, usually several times during the night. I always wore handmade bright new dresses with African prints to go dancing with my translator, and never once wore a bra-- just like every other woman in the village. Klikor will always remain in my heart, and shape the way that I feel about my body.

[cranky] why is twiggy the ultimate (midwest) american beauty?

My midwest university is obsessed with the double zero, zero, and size 2. It seems as if the only way to be attractive to men and even other women is to be skin-and-bone skinny to the point where we might be afraid you'll pass out at any moment. Entering campus freshman year as a solid size 8 (Marilyn's size, right?) I already felt out of place, and too large to fit in.

Since when did men find it so appealing to fantasize and sleep with twiggy? Why are plump breasts and real hips going out of style faster than disposable water bottles? I feel like if I were a man I would be afraid to sleep with a woman as skinny as Nicole or Kirsten, I might accidentally break them in half. But I guess if you can watch a seemingly anorexic girl in a porno, then why can't you have that in your own life, right?

And I bet that seemingly anorexic girl in the porno doesn't have just a neatly trimmed bikini, she's got it completely shaven bald. So she already looks like she has the body of a pre-pubescent middle schooler, but now she has the vagina to match. Secretly, unbeknownst to men, are they all carrying around pedophile tendencies if they're only attracted to women with bodies of ten year old girls?

[fat] a new diet begins

I've joined weight watchers this week. The online food diary from last semester helped me figure out what I should and shouldn't eat, but somehow weight watchers feels more legitimate?

I have metabolic syndrome, meaning that I have elevated cholesterol, elevated blood sugar, a slow metabolism, elevated blood pressure, and a knack for not ever being able to lose weight. The carrots and hummus diet did nothing. The protein water diet did nothing. So now I'm on to the most legitimate thing I can find online. I weighed in this week at a whopping 220.5 pounds. Standing at just 5 feet and 6 inches tall when I bother to stand straight, my BMI tells me that I'm obese, and that my ideal weight is 125-155. That's 65.5 pounds to lose. And according to my doctor if I don't lose it, I'll be diabetic just like my grandmother. I inherited the huge boobs and bad blood, way to go.

[feminist] mass produced bras and my breast reduction surgery

In response to:

Brumberg, Joan Jacobs. “Breast Buds and the ‘Training’ Bra.” 1977. Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions: Classic and Contemporary Readings, 4^th edition. 249-254.

Before reading this I had no idea that the first bra was created in 1913, “designed simply to flatten,” and that the more current/modern bra came about in the 1930’s (Brumberg 250). The concept of the bra is so new yet so universal now. Mass production and mass media are so influential in society, and the bra is a prime example. With mass production came sizing—A, B, C, D, the infamous DD, and the realm of un-tamed breasts even larger. (As a person who once wore the “more than a DD,” I know firsthand the impossibility of buying a bra in a department store that will be the correct size.) I was still in middle school when I made the transition to “larger than my mother” and up to DD, and had to face the realization that I wasn’t just larger than normal, larger than my peers, but I was freakishly, abnormally larger than society as a whole. For years I wore two minimizer bras at a time in an effort to “tame” my breasts even more, as they continued to grow. I was known as “jugs” for years in high school before I had breast reduction surgery, after which I spent my final year in baggy shirts so that no one would I know that I had “gotten my tits cut off.”  (which to this day people perceive as a “tragedy” despite the fact that it was practically a medical necessity)

The physical pain I had from wearing underwire bras aimed at “taming” my breasts has always led me to wonder why anyone would wear a AAA or AA (or even an A) bra when to me they so obviously don’t need one. But with stores and brands like Victoria’s Secret a AAA girl can wear a bra that makes her look like she has real B-size breasts. (I’ve always wondered how disappointed the boyfriend is once the bra comes off?)