moving to a new domain!

The blog is moving! I've purchased a domain for CFF, and am seriously planning on blogging more. I'm also working on adding ways for y'all to help me create a bit of income without spending money (or any extra money).

You can sign up for email alerts when new posts are published there, as well as check out some of my favorite Etsy, Groupon, and Amazon finds.

Come check out the new blog, and feel free to give me all the feedback you want to share, as it's still a work in progress!

CrankyFatFeministBlog.com

<3

[cranky] CFF manifesto (in progress)

CFF began as a way for me to post images and articles that spoke to me, without the anger of friend’s parents, or friends, or my parents and relatives, or any other jackasses. It was a way to share the new blog I had started, to contemplate my understanding of the feminist classes I was taking in college. I also needed to reflect on my recent return from Africa, and how feminism related to my trip.

CFF became a place for me to understand that there is more than fat shaming -- there is skinny shaming too, and that I’ve participated in it. Today, I do post mostly about fat shaming, but I make a point of never skinny shaming.


I’ve also reflected a lot on how I’ve felt fat since probably the age of 9 or 10. I hit puberty early (period came at age 10) so I was extra tall and hairy early. I’ve always had wide shoulders, and by 6th grade I was a 36C. I was always bigger than every other girl, and most of the guys. I told myself constantly that I was fat. Middle school (the years of self hate, mean girls, exploring make up, leg shaving, girl on girl hate…) only made my fat feel fatter.

 

[cranky] periods and porta potties, and bullshit at work

A month ago, four hours from home, I arrive at this new work site, 6:45am, bleary-eyed and desperately clutching my nearly empty coffee cup. Turns out we were called in early just for the sake of being early and sorting paperwork, which really only took 20 minutes. By 7:45 my bladder is full of coffee and I have to ask where the restrooms are… only to find out that we had access to porta potties. Perhaps if I walked half a mile up the road to this fancy arena people would be there and let me in to use a real restroom. But that was perhaps. After tucking a just in case tampon into the shorts I’m wearing (which are really my new boyfriend’s extra pair of work shorts) I hand my helmet to one of my female coworkers and head to the row of porta potties. My hands have already touched the gross “community box” of hard hats, borrowed someone’s pen to sign paperwork, and had just touched the door of the porta potty. While trying to keep the bottoms of my shorts from touching the pool of water around my boots, I discover that I have indeed started my period. And I have no where to wash my hands before I use the tampon. Surely comical if anyone had been watching, I managed to keep the shorts out of the puddle and put in the tampon. About to walk out I remember, I still have no where to wash my hands. I clean my hands to the best of my ability with the one-ply, but have no choice but to walk out, grab my hard hat, and get ready to work.

[feminist] review: #Orgasm, Inc

No one truly knows where Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD) comes from, as a medical term and disease. The pharmaceutical industry (the third largest industry in the United States) is promoting FSD as a disease with a potential monetary and medical fix. Drug companies are in a race to be the first company to be FDA approved for their magic libido-boosting drug. Everything in our capitalist world can be commodified, even your orgasms. Because “orgasms should happen and feel this one particular way… therefore your way is wrong.” So we’re going to help you have the perfect orgasm, if you can fork over the money.

Why are we so gullible? The vast majority of Americans did not receive proper sex ed in school. The joke “if you have sex, you will get pregnant, and you will die” is unfortunately not really a joke. Many of us learned that “lesson” in school instead of facts. If we can’t learn about our reproductive anatomy, and the purpose of our anatomy, then we are doomed to learn about sex and sexuality from society-- our parents, our friends, the tv, the horrible things anyone can find online…

[cranky] let me work

I've worked in the theatre production business since before I could legally be paid to be there. I started in community theatre, worked on every middle and high school production I could get my hands on, and created my own major in college to continue this work. Primarily, I'm a theatre electrician and lighting designer. Occassionally I work as a production manager, and previously as a stage manager. Since it's been over ten years I can do a little bit of everything, and I've even taught professional development classes for middle and high school teachers. I've done lighting design for local professional dance companies, symphonies, musicals, and graduations. Six years ago the minimum I was ever paid was $15 an hour. Right now I'm thrilled to get any gig working for less pay.

There is a local theatre union in my city, IATSE. While I live in a right to work state, we follow most union rules and are all treated the same. Except that I've discovered that the "girls get less work calls" rumor is actually the truth. Guys with years less experience than me are getting more work offers than I am. Guys with a much smaller knowledge base are getting more work than I am. Therefore, they do make more money than I do.

Recently I found out that there was a huge work call for a famous rapper on tour. A friend of mine that I helped get into my city's theatres was asked to do the show, so he dropped a previous commitment I helped him get so he could go do the union-run concert with "his boys" (his words). So not only was I embarassed, I found out that the union preference is having a penis over having the most experience or hardest work ethic. What other evenings am I at home, bored, ready and eager to work, and not getting a call because I have a vagina and can't grow a caveman beard?

[cranky] gynotician activism/harassment

Information for the "gynoticians" who need to receive pads, tampons, VAGINA postcards, and/or wire hangers in the mail, along with a phone call, email, or tweet about scheduling your next ob/gyn annual:

ALABAMA, for TRAP laws identical to Mississippi

GOVERNOR: Robert Julian Bentley
PHONE NO: 334-242-7100
FAX NO: 334-353-0004
EMAIL form: http://governor.alabama.gov/contact/contact_form.aspx
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/governorbentley
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/bentley2010
ADDRESS: 600 Dexter Avenue, Montgomery, AL 36130

LT. GOVERNOR: Kay E. Ivey
PHONE NO: 334-242-7900
FAX NO: 334-242-4661
EMAIL: http://ltgov.alabama.gov/contact.aspx
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/LtGovIvey
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/KayIveyAL
ADDRESS: 11 South Union Street, Suite 725, Montgomery, AL 36130

ARKANSAS, for trying to implement a 12 week abortion ban

Governor Mike Beebe
Phone: 501-682-2345
Email form: http://governor.arkansas.gov/contact/index.php
Twitter: GovBeebeMedia
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Office-of-Arkansas-Governor-Mike-Beebe/177813702279256?sk=wall

Lt. Gov. Mark A. Darr
Phone: 501-682-2144
Fax: 501-682-2894
Email link: http://ltgovernor.arkansas.gov/contact-us/
Twitter: @ltgovmarkdarr
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ltgovmarkdarr

ARIZONA, for new clinic laws

Gov Jan Brewer
Phoenix Office: (602) 542-4331
Tucson Office: (520) 628-6580
Fax Number: (602) 542-1381
In-State Toll Free: 1-800-253-0883 (outside Maricopa County only)
@teambrewer
https://www.facebook.com/GovJanBrewer?fref=ts
The Honorable Janice K. Brewer
Arizona Governor
Executive Tower
1700 West Washington Street
Phoenix, AZ 85007

KENTUCKY

Senator Mitch McConnell:
Phone: (202) 224-2541
Fax: (202) 224-2499
Email Form: http://www.mcconnell.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?p=ContactForm
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mitchmcconnellcan send a message this way

Senator Rand Paul:
Phone: Phone: 202-224-4343
Email form: http://www.paul.senate.gov/?p=contact
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SenatorRandPaul
Twitter: @SenRandPaul

Governor Steve Beshear
Phone: (502) 564-2611
Fax: (502) 564-2517
Email form: http://governor.ky.gov/Pages/contact.aspx
Twitter: @GovSteveBeshear
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/govstevebeshear

Lt. Gov. Jerry Abramson
Phone: (502) 564-2611
Fax: (502) 564-2849
Email form: http://ltgovernor.ky.gov/Pages/contact.aspx
Twitter: @LtGovAbramson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ltgovjerryabramson/timeline?filter=3

MICHIGAN, for new clinic laws

Governor Rick Snyder
(517) 335-7858
Email form: https://somgovweb.state.mi.us/GovRelations/ShareOpinion.aspx
Twitter: @onetoughnerd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RickForMichigan

Lt. Governor Brian Calley
(517) 373-6800
Twitter: @BrianCalley
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/briancalley

MISSISSIPPI, for trying to become the first state with no abortion clinic

Governor Phil Bryant
Email form: http://www.governorbryant.com/contact/
Twitter: @PhilBryantMS
Phone: 601.359.3150
Fax: 601.359.3741
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/im4phil

Lt. Governor Tate Reeves
ltgov@senate.ms.gov
Twitter: @TateReeves
Phone: (601) 359-3200
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tatereeves

OHIO, for redefining pregnancy, passing TRAP laws, and defunding PP in favor of CPCs

Gov John R. Kasich
Phone: (614) 466-3555
@johnkasich FB John R Kasich
Riffe Center, 30th Floor 77 South High Street Columbus, OH 43215-6117 Phone: (614) 466-3555

Lt Gov Mary Taylor
Phone: (614) 466-3555
@MaryTaylorOH
Riffe Center, 30th Floor 77 South High Street Columbus, OH 43215-6117

NORTH CAROLINA, for #motorcyclevagina, lying, and TRAP laws

Governor Pat McCrory
Phone: (919) 814-2000
Fax: (919) 733-2120
Email: http://www.governor.state.nc.us/contact/email-pat
Twitter: @PatMcCroryNC
Address:
Office of the Governor
20301 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-0301

Lt. Governor Dan Forest
Phone: (919) 733-7350
Fax: (919) 733-6595
Email: lt.gov@nc.gov
Twitter: @DanForestNC
Address:
Office of the Lt. Governor
20401 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-0401

Chris Whitmire: http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/members/viewMember.pl?sChamber=H&nUserID=660 Twitter: https://twitter.com/RepWhitmire

George Cleveland: http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/members/viewMember.pl?sChamber=H&nUserID=476

Jacqueline Schaffer: http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/members/viewMember.pl?sChamber=H&nUserID=647 Twitter: https://twitter.com/SchafferJM

Larry Pitman: http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/members/viewMember.pl?sChamber=H&nUserID=633

NORTH DAKOTA, home of the fetal heartbeat ban trying to go into effect any day now

GOVERNOR: Jack Dalrymple
PHONE NO: (701)328-2200
FAX NO: (701)328-2205
EMAIL-DIRECT LINK: http://www.governor.nd.gov/contact-us
EMAIL: governor@state.nd.us
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/NDGovDalrymple
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/DalrympleforGov
ADDRESS: State Capitol, 600 E. Boulevard Ave, Bismarck, ND 58505-0001


LT. GOVERNOR: Drew Wrigley
PHONE NO: (701)328-2200
FAX NO: (701)328-2205
EMAIL: http://governor.nd.gov/contact-us
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/DrewWrigley
ADDRESS: State Capitol,600 E. Boulevard Ave, Bismarck, ND 58505-0001

Chairwomen of ALEC: Bette Grande
TWITTER: @bettegrande

TEXAS, for its 20 week ban, TRAP laws, and all-around unlawful bullshit

Governor Rick Perry
PHONE: (512) 463-2000
MAILING ADDRESS: Office of the Governor, P.O. Box 12428, Austin, Texas 78711-2428
DELIVERY ADDRESS: Office of the Governor, State Insurance Building, 1100 San Jacinto, Austin, Texas 78701

WISCONSIN, for trying to be the newest vag-probe state

Governor Scott Walker
PHONE NO: 608-266-1212
FAX NO. 608-267-8983
EMAIL: http://www.wisgov.state.wi.us/Contact-Us
EMAIL: govgeneral@wisconsin.gov
TWITTER: http://twitter.com/GovWalker
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/governorscottwalker
ADDRESS: 115 East State Capitol, Madison, WI 53707

 LT. Governor Rebecca Kleefisch
PHONE NO: (608) 266-3516
FAX NO: (608) 267-3571
EMAIL: ltgov@wisconsin.gov
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/ltgovkleefisch
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/ltgovkleefisch
ADDRESS: 19 East, State Capitol, P.O. Box 2043, Madison, WI 53702

VIRGINIA, for new clinic laws

Governor Bob McDonnell
Phone: (804) 786-2211
Fax: (804) 371-6351
Email form: http://www.governor.virginia.gov/AboutTheGovernor/contactGovernor.cfm
Twitter: @GovernorVA

Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli
Phone: 703-766-0635
Email form: http://www.ag.virginia.gov/ContactUsForm/ContactForm.aspx
Twitter: @KenCuccinelli
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KenCuccinelli

[feminist] #exposeCPC

 

The irony of today... Texas is preparing to protest their House of Representatives from voting 3 anti-choice bills into law (since lovely Rick Perry is quite eager to sign them). Meanwhile it's also the planned well in advance Expose CPCs day. Texas is looking at using TRAP laws to close 39 of the state's 47 abortion providers-- requiring that abortions take place in surgical facilities with minimum requirements for hallway width, and equipment; requiring that abortion providers have admitting privileges at a local hospital; as well as ending abortion at 20 weeks instead of 24 (which Roe v Wade made law). Apparently now we can speculate that fetuses feel pain at 20 weeks instead of 24, and some low-IQ politicians believe that male fetuses can feel pleasure and masturbate in-utero meaning that the week limit should be brought down to 16 or less.


If Texas flushes women's rights down the toilet this afternoon, even more CPCs will pop up across the state. I can hear my father's voice saying "what's a CPC?"-- I didn't know what it stood for until I started volunteer escorting at my local clinic in college (only a 45 minute drive). Crisis Pregnancy Center. If you look up abortion services, family planning, pregnancy help, etc in the phone book most of what you'll find are CPCs. But you don't know that until you arrive, unless you're a prochoice fanatic who already knows where the nearest abortion clinic is at all times.

Crisis Pregnancy Centers are usually funded by churches, but are increasingly eligible (on a state-by-state basis) for tax dollars as well. CPCs look like abortion clinics but once you're inside you're inundated with guilt and lies. "abortions cause breast cancer" "if you have an abortion you won't be able to bear children again later" "post abortion syndrome" "if you have an abortion you'll definitely become depressed and wish you hadn't" "if you become a member of our church we can help you care for your baby" Many offer free ultrasounds, and then conveniently round down how many weeks along the embryo is, allowing the woman to think she has more time to make a decision than she really does. (Don't forget, first trimester abortions and second trimester abortions have a huge cost difference-- the kind of cost difference that can't be made up in one pay check for the majority of women).


Texas has already slashed funds for free and low-cost clinics which offer exams and birth control (note: not abortion providers). With a lack of access to reproductive information as well as birth control options, the need for abortions will obviously increase. Then, shutting down nearly 90% of the abortion providers in the state will increase the demand for CPCs. And, in turn, increase the number of unsafe, unsanitary, botched abortions. (yes, this is where you turn and bang your head on the nearest wall)

Want some official information to share about CPCs? NARAL Pro-Choice America: nar.al/r8

[feminist] House of Representatives: Democrats Shit List

The Democrats who voted for HR 1797, the 20 week abortion ban, are:

Henry Cuellar (TX-28) — 202-225-1640
Daniel Lipinski (Il-3) — 202-225-5701 **
Jim Matheson (UT-4) — 202-225-3011
Mike McIntyre (NC-7) — 202-225-2731 **
Colin Peterson (MN-7) — 202-225-2165 **
Nick Rahall (WV-3) — 202-225-3452 **

** = also the only Democrat cosponsors of the bill

 

[feminist] may: national masturbation month

Seriously, May is National Masturbation Month. Obviously this shouldn't be the only time of the year to masturbate, but it's a good excuse to discuss the fact that it's not just men that masturbate. It's totally normal, humans are sexual beings. Besides blowing off sexual tension and possibly feeling a little bit dirty, it's how a lot of us find out what gets us off with our partners. My first orgasm was a solo event; masturbating taught me what my vulva felt like, and allowed me to meet my clitoris (the never-discussed part of the female anatomy in my health classes). The less dirty I felt when I masturbated the more comfortable I became with myself and my body, and the more confident I became in telling partners "lets try this"-- eventually allowing me to have multiple orgasms and truly love sex.

I think no one should be ashamed or feel dirty for masturbating (obviously, in private). If you want to try sex toys-- individual toys or with your partner toys-- you should totally go for it. You never know what unexpected pleasures might come. The more uncomfortable you are with your body, your sexuality, or any difficulties climaxing, the more I want to encourage you to touch yourself and love your body.

[feminist] VAWA House action

Boehner, Cantor, and the other GOP/TeaBagger leadership have created a counter Violence Against Women Act. We are asking these targets (democrats and women) to co-sponsor HR 11, the comprehensive VAWA-- not the conservative VAWA. The conservative VAWA excludes LGBTQ, Native Americans, sex trafficking victims, and not-unblocking the rape kit backlog.

sample tweets in English and Spanish:

• 1 in 3 #NativeAmerican #women are victims of #sexualassault during their life. We all deserve a comprehensive #VAWA
• Promueve HR11 porque todavia hay gente muriendo por violencia domestica. #dv #VAWA
• 2 in 5 black #women will be sexually abused during her lifetime. Sponsor HR11 now! #VAWA
• 2 de cada 5 mujeres negras seran abusadas sexualmente en el transcurso de su vida. Promueve HR11 ahora! #VAWA
• #LGBT survivors face the same rates of #DV & #SA as all – so #VAWA must include them too. Sponsor HR11!
• #LGBT enfrentan la misma tasa de #DV & #SA como los demas-por eso #VAWA incluirlos tambien. Promueve HR11!
  

AL	Roby, Martha	R	RepMarthaRoby	202-225-2901
FL	Ros-Lehtinen, Ileana	R	RosLehitinen	202-225-3931
GA	Barrow, John	D	repjohnbarrow	202-225-2823
IL	Lipinski, Daniel	D	RepLipinski	202-225-5701
IN	Walorski, Jackie	R	RepWalorski	202-225-3915
IN	Brooks, Susan W.	R	SusanWBrooks	202-225-2276
KS	Jenkins, Lynn	R	RepLynnJenkins	202-225-6601
MI	Miller, Candice	R	CandiceMiller	202-225-2106
MN	Bachmann, Michele	R	MicheleBachmann	202-225-2331
MN	Peterson, Collin C.	D	no twitter	202-225-2165
MO	Wagner, Ann	R	RepAnnWagner	202-225-1621
MO	Hartzler, Vicky	R	RepHartzler	202-225-2876
NC	Ellmers, Renee	R	RepReneeEllmers	202-225-4531
NC	Foxx, Virginia	R	virginiafoxx	202-225-2071
NC	McIntyre, Mike	D	RepMikeMcIntyre	202-225-2731
SD	Noem, Kristi	R	RepKristiNoem	202-225-2801
TN	Black, Diane	R	repDianeBlack	202-225-4231
TN	Blackburn, Marsha	R	MarshaBlackburn	202-225-2811
TX	Granger, Kay	R	RepKayGranger	202-225-5071
UT	Bishop, Rob	R	no twitter	202-225-0453
UT	Matheson, Jim	D	RepJimMatheson	202-225-3011
WA	Herrera Beutler, Jaime	R	HerreraBeutler	202-225-3536
WA	McMorris Rodgers, Cathy	R	cathymcmorris	202-225-2006
WV	Capito, Shelley Moore	R	RepShelley	202-225-2711
WY	Lummis, Cynthia M.	R	CynthiaLummis	202-225-2311

[feminist] senate shit list

These 22 Republican and Tea Party men voted against re-authorizing the Violence Against Women Act in the Senate. 8 of them voted against bringing up the VAWA for debate and vote at all.

The bill authorizes $659 million over five years for VAWA programs; expands VAWA to include new protections for LGBT and Native American victims; give more attention to sexual assault prevention and to help reduce a backlog in processing rape kits. Created in 1994, VAWA has helped to strengthen programs and services for victims of domestic violence, dating violence and stalking.

[feminist] call to action! #ERA

 Here are additional tweets to use:

.@maddow Freedom from legal sex discrimination requires #ERA. Please discuss & share: http://wh.gov/P6gP

.@maddow In 1977 #ERA author Alice Paul died. In 2013, we can ratify her dream. Discuss & share http://wh.gov/P6gP

.@maddow Without the #ERA, Congress can weaken/replace existing laws on women's rights. http://wh.gov/P6gP

.@maddow Without the #ERA providing motivation, the status quo will change much more slowly. help! http://wh.gov/P6gP

CALL TO ACTION:

Nobody in the news media is talking about the ERA. We want to change that and with your help, we will.

It's very simple and takes less than a minute. Below is an email to Rachel Maddow as well as a tweet. All you have to do is copy and paste the text into an email and send it to her between 5:00 and 9:00 P.M. EST 1/31/13.

Rachel Maddow email: rachel@msnbc.com

Tweet:
.@Maddow plz discuss #ERA & share White House Petition 4 #equality 4 #women need your help! Please RT #uniteblue http://wh.gov/P6gP

This post is going up on many Facebook walls today. Thousands of people will see it. Rachel will not ignore hundreds or thousands of emails and tweets all at once.

Please copy and paste:

Place this in the email subject box: TIME SENSITIVE! TALK ABOUT THE ERA ON YOUR SHOW!
---
ATTN: Rachel Maddow

It's time to ratify the ERA and you can help get us by talking about it on your show.

70% of American women are unaware that women are not equal under the Constitution.

We need a constitutional amendment.

MAINSTREAM MEDIA NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT THE ERA!

Please tell your audience there is a new and powerful movement to get a Constitutional amendment for the ERA.

Unitewomen.org / We Are Woman / ERA Now / RTSV UNITED are all working to make this happen and we ask for your help.

A White House petition that expires on 2/9/13 needs just over 10,000 signatures. If you share the link on your program and tweet it, we can fulfill the goal of 25k in one evening. You have the power and we're asking for your help.

Please talk about it on your show and tweet this link to your audience:

RT Please support #ERA for #women 's rights by supporting ratification efforts http://wh.gov/P6gP

Thank you.
---
Sponsored by:
Kimberley A. Johnson - RTSV United
Karen Teegarden - UniteWomen.org
One Million Sluts Against Rush Limbaugh
Cranky Fat Feminist
Sussex County Democratic Women's Caucus

[feminist] "Human Traffick"

In honor of human trafficking awareness month, I watched part one of "Human Traffick" last night. It follows the stories of three women/girls-- a single mom in Prague, Czech Republic; a 16 year old student from Kiev, Ukraine; and a 12 year old American tourist visiting Manila, Philippines.

 Helena, the single mom is courted by a handsome man and agrees to get a passport and travel to Vienna, Austria with him. Upon arrival he delivers her to the traffickers for cash and immediately leaves. Nadia is the 16 year old student from Kiev who is recruited to come to America by an eastern European modeling agency. Her mother died several years before, and she lives in a small house with her father who doesn't want her to leave the country. She ends up sneaking away to go with the modeling agency and its other modeling victims. Helena arrives in New York with the modeling group, and they are taken to a strip club-- their passports and papers are taken away, they are stripped down to their underclothes, and told that they have to work as sex slaves until their debt (of passports, visas, plane tickets, all with interest) are paid off. They are sent to different brothels and moved around the area fairly regularly to avoid being caught.

In Manila we see every parent's nightmare: 12 year old Annie is snatched from her mother at the busy market, thrown into the back of a Jeep and driven away. Annie's mother continues to work with the police to try to find her daughter, and eventually her husband has to return home to work. We get a first-hand glimpse of what we usually only hear about in the news. Annie is taken to a brothel in Manila, catering to American/European tourists. We are also introduced to a young girl who is sold by her father into the brothel-- he has too many bills to pay, and he feels he has no choice but to sell her. We also see a very young boy swept away to cater to a client's needs, and then returned to the communal bedroom beaten, bruised, and crying.

[feminist] India's violence against women

India has been in the spotlight lately for brutal gang rapes and police inaction.

On November 13 a 17 year old girl in the Punjab province was gang raped by 3 men. Her father killed himself, and the rape was reported on November 27. She suffered police harassment and embarrassing questions while they refused to arrest her attackers, and was pressured to marry one of the attackers. On December 27 she drank poison and ended her life, prompted the arrest of the three rapists.

On December 16 a 23 year old paramedical student was beaten and gang raped by 6 men on a bus while it drove around New Delhi. The woman's guy friend was also beaten. They were both left on the side of the road, naked after the attackers were finished. She was flown to Singapore for treatment because of massive internal damage, and succumbed to her injuries on December 29.

On Wednesday December 26 a 42 year old married woman was gang raped by 3 men while traveling to Delhi. She knew one of her attackers: a few months ago she filed an attempted rape charge against him, but the police didn't register it.

[feminist] abortion stories

Its time to end the shame and stigmas associated with abortions. To add your story, email me or message me on Facebook.

Emily
I was 18 years old and a senior in high school. I had recently lost a lot of weight within the past year and a half and I started getting attention for a lot of different boys. I met a boy that was in the military. He became my very first boyfriend. We had a very fast relationship. We dated for a month but since he was my first boyfriend I was completely delusionally in love with him. Even though we broke up I'd still travel hours up to his duty station to spend time with him and we continued to sleep together. We saw each other last around the end of December. We remained to talk over the phone. I found out that I was pregnant in February. I told him about it and he immediately demanded that I have an abortion because it would ruin his future career. Funny enough, his family is very conservative and very catholic and yet he was telling me to get an abortion. I knew it was the right thing to do. He offered me no support in the process though, so I kept completely quiet about the situation. At around 14 weeks I decided to cut off contact with him and had an abortion. Was it a hard decision? Yes. Was it the right one? For me yes. I was a senior in high school and I would be a single mom. There was no need to try to raise a child in hostility. It was pretty much painless and I went along my life. To this day he's never said a word about it and continues to be a shitty person but that's on him. Today, I'm a strong woman that is married and has a beautiful little girl. I know for a fact I wouldn't be married, be as happy as I am nor be the person I am today if I hadn't had an abortion. I volunteer with various women's rights groups. I have counter protested 'pro-life' groups outside Planned Parenthoods by myself that have tried to shame me in my decision. But I am not ashamed, not a bit.

[feminist] brief history

There are three "waves" of feminism in the United States:

1st wave: abolition movement, suffrage
1848 Seneca Falls Convention
1869 National Women's Suffrage Association (NWSA) founded
1878 "Anthony Amendment" (women's suffrage) introduced to Congress
1890 National American Woman Suffrage Association (NAWSA)-- today the League of Women Voters
1920 the 19th amendment was ratified, giving women the vote
important names: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott, Susan B. Anthony, Sojourner Truth, Sarah M. and Angelina Grimke, Henry Blackwell, Frederick Douglass, Harriet Tubman

2nd wave: 60's  and 70's (academic) push for women's studies in academia
coining of the term: "the personal is political"
1963 Equal Pay Act
1964 Title VII in the Civil Rights Act-- forbidding workplace discrimination
1967 Affirmative Action extended to women
early 1970's creation of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
1970 first women's studies department was founded at San Diego State University
1972 Title IX of the Education Amendments Act-- equal education, forbid gender discrimination in schools (especially in sports-- this was why I was able to participate in my high school wrestling team)

3rd wave: "contemporary" feminism
today we can define two core principles of feminism, despite the definition of feminism varying from person to person
-- concerns equality and justice for all women; seeks to eliminate systems of inequality and injustice in all aspects of women's lives
-- inclusive, affirming; celebrates women's achievements and struggles; works to provide a positive and affirming view towards women and womanhood

Feminism is personal perspective, political theory, and social movement

[feminist] confession

Question: Why are you so passionate about women's rights, sexual victim's rights, and reproductive rights? You've never been raped or assaulted, you've never had an abortion, you've never been abused.

I have three best girlfriends. Among the three there have been two abortions, and two miscarriages. Today, two are married, one has two children and the other is expecting her first in a few weeks. The other is now happily single. I was the secret-keeper, the advice-giver, the voice and body of control and compassion. I've waited impatiently for pregnancy test results to show up in the tiny ambiguous window, I've seen how heart-wrenching the choice to have an abortion can be, I've seen how painful and confusing a miscarriage is.

My little sister was fourteen (I was nearly seventeen) when she was suddenly delivered home one Sunday afternoon by her then-best friend and her mother-- they pulled up in front of our house after calling to say she was sick, they opened the sliding side door of the mini-van, and my father and I pulled out a limp, wet, stinking child in a bikini. My father and I carried her up the stairs into the front yard as my mother called doctors to see why she was foaming at the mouth. I held my sister as she half-consciously rested against a tree, making sure she vomited to the side and not on herself, as my father went back down to the van to find out what had happened. The only answer they could give was that the bff and my sister had been at a guy's house, my sister had been drinking, and all of a sudden when they left she began puking. We live in a corner house, so we moved my sister around to the backyard, trying not to be seen as her breasts hung out of the bikini and she slipped in and out of consciousness. Eventually we laid her in a reclining pool chair that we had found a few weeks before on the side of the road, and hosed her down. She rambled on and on incoherently while smelling like a distillery.

Sometimes its really hard for me to forgive her stupidity, her choice of friends, her bad decisions. But she never in a million years deserved to have her drink spiked, her best friend turn her back on her, and to be drug up a flight of stairs and locked in a boy's bedroom while she was in and out of consciousness, and then to be slid back down the stairs and drug down the street to another house where my parents were called. What a sick power play, that this same boy has done many times over in our city since then-- his family has a great lawyer, and he has never even been brought into the courthouse for questioning, much less prosecution.

The evening after, my parents sat my sister down in the living room for a talk, and I was sent into the backyard. A bit later one of them came out and announced they were going to the ER and I couldn't come. They were gone about six hours, during which my sister had an incredibly painful and invasive rape kit that was never analyzed. She was questioned by several police officers who talked down to her. The doctors said that she definitely had something fucked up in her drink (how else could you foam at the mouth like a rabid dog?), but that it had already left her system and there was nothing they could do.

Since there was no stray hair, no sperm, no sexual evidence, there was no "proof" that she had been raped.

Since we didn't realize she had been raped when she arrived home that afternoon, and she was incapable of telling us, we didn't get her tested for drugs in time for there to be "proof" of that either.

When my father was five his father died of a heart attack. His older brother began sexually abusing him as a form of power... by the age of ten my father was able to fight back, and he turned on their little sister. When my sister was raped, my father nearly lost his mind. 

Who gets to dictate what is rape, who gets to dictate when and why women have abortions? Why is this a political topic of discussion? These are lifelong traumas, lifelong decisions-- these are personal traumas, personal decisions. I chose to run away from the south to go to school in the mid-west. But you can't run away from your past. So I am fighting for my future-- to keep my personal decisions, my personal traumas, personal. So that it can be my decision to press charges, my decision to have an abortion, and not someone else's.

[cranky] the letter you need to share: Explain That to your Daughter

 "An Open Letter to my 40-something white, male friend on Facebook"

Explain That to your Daughter

This is the letter that you've all be wanting to post on Facebook-- calm, well-written, and absolutely slamming the GOP and their misinformed supporters. How can someone vote against their daughter's future? How can someone vote against their own future? Does the general public have an attention and memory span the same length as my dogs? How much back tracking and mind changing does a person have to do before you realize that they're just full of shit? Have any of them taken the time to read the Republican party platform or the Democratic party platform? Does anyone know what the term "bipartisan" truly means, and does anyone comprehend what an ass John Boehner and his friends are? How many misinformed, uninformed, racist, sexist, ignorant people does it take to throw a country a hundred years backwards in terms of rights for half of the population?

[super cranky feminist] my theory on Paul Ryan's jobs plan

Reflecting on the religion/abortion question from the VP debate, Ryan said that (flip flop alert!) he WOULD allow abortion in cases of rape, incest, and life of the mother. Note that he said life of the mother, not health of the mother, which are two different things-- if the fetus isn't definitely going to kill the woman, there's a chance she won't get the abortion she still needs, or wants. We also can't forget that Todd Akin's "legitimate rape" fiasco goes hand in hand with Paul Ryan, they've attempted to "redefine" rape together-- further limiting a woman's choices. "Redefined" rape would mean that marital rape, ex-partner/spouse rape, date rape, etc would likely no longer be considered rape. Only violent "stranger" rape would be considered rape (if we haven't by then totally abolished the idea of rape...).

And how much work would a woman have to do to "prove" that she was raped? (Definitely not saying men are not raped, because I have male friends that are rape victims. I'm only talking about women right now because only women can get pregnant.) Already women usually pay out of pocket for a painful and humiliating rape kit that quite often is never analyzed; she would likely be required to press charges against her rapist(s) in order to secure an abortion (remember the rate of conviction is estimated at less than 3%); and she would have to face the public humiliation and stigma associated with publicly admitting to being a rape victim in today's society.

So then, if we've lowered rates of rape by redefinition, then why do Rape Crisis Centers need funding?
If we're going to teach and preach abstinence-only sex ed, why do we need to offer birth control? Why do we need to ensure that insurance companies cover birth control in health insurance plans? (just a reminder-- no one is asking for FREE birth control, we're asking for our health insurance to cover our birth control in the same way it covers other medications like pain killers and ED treatments) Should all sex be purely for procreating?

Reminder-- Romney has promised to de-fund Planned Parenthood (which just like PBS, can't run on donations alone).

Will my birth control pill, used primarily for controlling ovarian cysts and endometriosis, suddenly cost $120 a month instead of $30 a month because my insurance company (or my mother's employer offering insurance) suddenly has a "moral objection" to birth control?

Oh, and that Plan B you can get from the pharmacist? Forget that right now-- with fetal personhood lighting Ryan's toes on fire it will be outlawed. "Life begins at conception." Did you learn in your health/sex ed class that its quite common for eggs to be fertilized but simply fail to implant in the lining of the woman's uterus? So then is the woman a murderer for failing to have the perfect uterus for that particular egg to implant in? Plan B works to prevent a fertilized egg from implanting, and Paul Ryan wants to make sure that not only is Plan B off the market (it would help to "kill" a 2-cell "innocent life"), but that it's not available to any rape victim that asks for it. This implantation-prevention form of birth control would become illegal, and it includes IUDs as well as other forms of birth control. It also, in theory, makes IVF illegal (unless of course your last name is Romney)-- all of the eggs that are harvested and fertilized must be implanted, and if you chose not to implant some and have them frozen, you honestly have to include the frozen test tube fertilized eggs in your will (and you can't dump them as medical waste, either). You can't make this shit up.

And just for good measure, lets not forget that when you've got kids at home to take care of you often can't work. Day care isn't an option for everyone, especially when you've got several kids. This could mean that 50% of the sexually-active working-age population would be at home, and out of the formal economy. I guess that means that there are more jobs for men and the women that aren't yet mothers... but that sure sounds like a shitty jobs plan to me.

[feminist] DNC- wednesday: where were you four years ago?

I'm hanging out with the four Unite Women national directors and a regional director, screaming and yelling at the TV and our computers. Right now its several small business speakers, but last night we had the tissues out for Lilly Ledbetter, Julian Castro, and Michelle Obama. (our mom-in-chief). I was floored by Nancy Keenan (president of NARAL, ProChoice America) being given prime time national coverage-- is this what progress looks like? Cecile Richards of Planned Parenthood spoke earlier tonight, which was also incredibly exciting, but for NARAL/Democrats/Obama to be so publicly affiliated seriously just about knocked me over. Maybe we're seeing the end of abortion-shaming and more general woman-shaming.

Like Sandra Fluke just said, its time to choose which America we are going to live in-- Paul Ryan, redefining rape, advocating fetal Personhood; or Barack Obama, advocating affordable or free birth control for all women. Elizabeth Warren is on now, and we're sitting in awe. I'm attempted to tweet from the national account @UniteWomenOrg (cough, you should follow) while paying attention, while smelling brownies baking in the kitchen. I don't know which is most distracting, haha!

I want to know, where were you four years ago? What did you think about your reproductive rights, health care, jobs, education, debt, etc four years ago? I was just beginning my first semester of undergrad, with no concerns for how my meds would get paid for every month, or how my co-pays would be paid-- not to mention what would happen when I turned 22 and was out of school. Life is scarier for me now, the future is scarier, but without Obama I have no doubt in my mind that I'd be on Medicaid and without all of the medicines that I need. I would lose my left ovary through an emergency room trip and several ovarian cysts. It would mean I'd be out of work for several weeks. It would mean I'd lose my job. I'd go back to waiting tables for $2.13/hr and wondering how I'd eat. But instead, I'm still going to wait tables for $2.13/hr, but I'm going to have my medicine, I'm going to have a whole body and a healthy mind-- and that is priceless. I'm ready to go forward, and I'm ready to fight for it. Where were you four years ago? Are you ready to fight for progress?


NARAL
Planned Parenthood
UniteWomen